When decisions are hard, follow your apprehension
What to do, what to do.
“Yum, go for it, tuck in to that fluffy doughnut,” says the mini-devil-you perched on your right shoulder. “It wants you as much as you want it. Look at it shaking its bakery butt at you”.
The doughnut’s sweet scent invades your nasal passages.
“Forget it, pal,” interjects the mini-angel-you on your left shoulder. “The doughnut may taste good at first, but as soon as you come down off that sugar high and your insides start struggling to digest all that gunk, you’ll be wondering what life would have been like if you didn’t eat that crap.”
Decisions are hard. Especially when they involve doughnuts. Because doughnuts are tasty and fun and Homer Simpson eats them. But you have to remember that Homer Simpson is fat and probably has diabetes. So the more pleasurable path isn’t always the right one to take.
But I guess you kind of knew that already because the mini-devil-you was telling you to eat it.
I’m feeling sad about a decision I had to make today. It was the last day to pay the balance of my Glastonbury ticket, only one of the greatest festivals in the world that a bunch of my besties will be attending this year. And I didn’t pay it.
I had all intentions to do so but at the last minute I realised there were more important things to stay at home for in Australia. I had to decide between these things and going back to London to my minimal-responsibility, young-and-wanderlust lifestyle.
The thought of staying here instead of going back to my beloved London is terrifying for all sorts of reasons. Aside from massive FOMO on my social life, I am totally lacking any form of certainty, which I would have got from going back to employment in London.
“The first human need is the need for Certainty. It’s our need to feel in control and to know what’s coming next so we can feel secure. It’s the need for basic comfort, the need to avoid pain and stress, and also to create pleasure. Our need for certainty is a survival mechanism. It affects how much risk we’re willing to take in life—in our jobs, in our investments, and in our relationships. The higher the need for certainty, the less risk you’ll be willing to take or emotionally bear. By the way, this is where your real “risk tolerance” comes from.” – Tony Robbins
Thanks mate. I personally think Tony Robbin’s is a bit of a wanker, but he does some good psychological human analysis.
My main reasons for staying are based on my loyalty to my parents and my interest in their sense of certainty. So this year I will be helping my dad finish renovations on the family home and helping my mum with a creative marketing strategy for her small business. All in exchange for food, shelter and favourite-childism.
But I must not let my own personal goals rest:
- Get my book in a pitch-perfect state
- Publish a small, free-for-download eBook
- Get articles published online
- Maintain my blog by upholding my stance outside the comfort zone
I know I’m making the right decision because all this is very overwhelming and uncomfortable. It’s going to require discipline and unwavering brainpower. But challenge isn’t supposed to be a lie down on a soft couch getting your toes licked.
I don’t rattle on about the comfort zone thing as some extravagant way to get a laugh by getting naked and cuddling strangers, I genuinely believe that the more we embrace our apprehension, the better people we will become.
You’ll never regret not smashing a sugary old doughnut because in the end you will be more healthy, and therefore more happy.
I know. Deep like the ocean.