It’s easy to feel like you’re turning into an Australian bush cockroach when you’re living with your mum in QLD, eating all her food and trying to stay out of sight. The only difference between native roaches and me is that I’m applying for jobs to get my butt back to work and they already have a job in nature.
I’ve been hanging around the house a lot and starting to worry that all the hard work I did on building my confidence last year might start to undo. So I had to put a stop to it.
I scrounged around the internet looking for activities that would make me feel like I’d rather stay in bed. And voila! I found a drama workshop to kick my nerves back into action and totally get me out of the house.
That’s the thing about this darned lifestyle of bamboo and bush turkeys that is my mum’s rainforest home. There aren’t a lot of people around to give me the FOMO I need to get me up and at ’em. It becomes so easy to get comfortable and then stagnant. I kind of love not doing anything because it feels good for my brain to relax in nature but then I feel like a loser for not doing anything.
Yes, that anxiety is completely worse than going out on a Wednesday night to improvise little dramatic scenes in front of strangers.
I raced down to Brisbane and chose my easy peasy parking spot on an empty street in North Lakes. I found the building, took a fear-selfie on the way and approached the little room where I found seven people sitting on chairs, in a circle, staring at me. Welcomingly.
I apologised for being late and they were a forgiving tiny team of drama types. We sat around introducing ourselves and getting to know about each other’s interests in acting because that’s what you do when you’re a bunch of theatre geeks.
To kick off the sesh we all warmed up with some voice exercises, of which I heard we were doing and had my body immediately repel the idea of with a twist in the gut.
Loudly humming and ohhing and ahhhing for no apparent reason has always given me the jeebies. But it turns out that that’s exactly the problem. Once I said to myself: Jessica, you are doing this for a reason… you enjoy acting and this is part of getting better at acting. BAM. I felt 3% better about it.
Same went for walking around the room, making eye contact and hugging each other. Totally out of my comfort zone. But I just told myself to get into it and be good at it because the more you try, the better you look and be and feel. And BAM – 6%.
Doing things outside your comfort zone helps you grow. You’ve heard it here a million times. Things outside you CZ are tough because they’re supposed to be. All good things are. Toughness is sturdy and reliable. But don’t be a tough guy. Puke.
Plus, every experience opens up new opportunities. I spent 45 minutes hanging around after class talking with two of the gals and now we’re Facebook friends and sharing book and course recommendations and shit.
One of them owns a Gondola business and the other just got accepted into NIDA and is on a campaign that sticks it to negative body images. HOW COOL IS THAT.
It was a wonderful little experience and I thank the team at Drama Works for having me. I think I shall go again next week.