This guy who I wouldn’t call a friend because I did that once and was told that he was not my friend… well he is the same guy who also hasn’t accepted my Facebook friendship request for several years. And he is also the same guy who messages me frequently with helpful information. And he is also the same guy who rarely talks about himself. And he is also the same guy who I have met in person once. And he is also the same guy who is definitely reading this post. And he is also the same guy who recently said to me:
‘I am baffled as to how you go on stage once and are now running an onstage empire’.
And this is the modern world we live in. There are real relationships like these everywhere.
But this isn’t about him, that’s another story, this is about what he said and how I love the word baffled.
Baffled means totally bewildered or perplexed, which is an uncomfortable feeling I experience on the reg.
I’m always wondering how someone did something outrageous and cool and how I’m gonna turn my own water into wine. The perplexed-ness we often feel is because our brains only have the knowledge of the things that have either seeped into our subconscious or that we’ve actively participated in learning. Which is basically why everyone has problems with completing their taxes; how-to guides aren’t plastered on billboard advertising and the education system doesn’t bother to let us know how to avoid debt.
In July last year – so less than a year ago (YIKES) – the biggest focus of my existence was the fact that I had nominated myself to stand up in front of a crowd of 100 students and talk about the organisation I worked for. This utter fret around my first-world problem lasted about two weeks because it was a mothertrucking big deal to me. I’d always been terrified of public speaking and had pretty much avoided it up until that point where I’d just turned 31. But at my wiser, older age, I had started to notice how them nerves, and all them men, and all them glass ceilings, were bloody limiting.
SOLUTION: do a public speaking course.
Smart, I know. You see a problem, you fix it.
NO. Not that easy. PUBLIC SPEAKING PROBLEMS ARE SOME OF THE HARDEST FIRST-WORLD PROBLEMS.
Because it’s one of those problems, which in order to solve it, you have to crawl through dirt first. It’s not a matter of “I’m cold”…*switches on the heating*. It’s a matter of “I’m stuck on this island”…*swims through the shark infested water to safety*.
That’s what we think anyway. Our scaredy cat brains, which have spent our entire lives being (usually subconsciously) taught things that aren’t actually real, tell you NO YOU MIGHT DIE ON THAT STAGE. Newsflash. No one has ever died of being a legend.
What I have learnt – and am now working on packaging up into delightful little empathetic bundles of joy, good taste and laughter – has changed my existence. Eff the sharks. I’ve built a boat.
The reason I’ve become (in less than a year!) so able to throw myself into the most vulnerable of situations (like stand-up comedy, running my own workshops, networking, talking about stuff with authority and trying a bunch of things that I could publicly fail at) is because I just don’t give two hoots what anyone thinks.
KIDDING. I totally do. I just don’t WORRY about what people think.
And this is exactly what I want to teach other people. I want to pass on my solid understanding around the ideas of perception, mindfulness, vulnerability and being authentic. And I am using my favourite things of HUMOUR and FOOD to teach it. Because in the context of being equipped to do anything socially… this is all you need, dawg. This is how I look at the world anyway.
Self doubt and limiting beliefs is another kettle of sharks, but it’s the kind of shark tank you can overcome more easily when you have the confidence instilled by understanding the wicked-cool concepts above. [Insert something really cheeseball to finish off my motivational rant].
Comfort is for Wimps is an experience designer specialising in adventures and events that get people comfortable with being uncomfortable. Because the comfort zone is where the boring people hang out. Come hang out me!