How to do whatever the hell you want with your life

Basically, make your mind your bitch.

I want a lot of things that I don’t ever end up getting and you’re likely no different because you’re just a simple human who can’t do magic either. Humans rarely get all the things they want because anything we want requires some level of effort to get. The effort needed to do anything beyond survive requires us to operate on some level of a metaphorical incline. And frankly, treadmills suck eggs.

Especially the stuff that requires you to step out of the comfort of your systematic life and get something on your own. Something a little different to what’s expected. Because when you think about it, most of us bob around life relying heavily on the clear pathways society and tradition have set out for us: study, job, marriage, home, dog, kidwinkles, die. Along the way we’ll put effort into enhancing our lives in little ways. Maybe transforming our bods, running thons or volunteering at the local soup kitch. But these things aren’t big and complicated enough to truly scare us. There’s an app for this or a pretty YouTube star for that. Being a hottie or helping the homeless take a bit of treadmill climbing, but they don’t mess with your mind the way an ambition to get to the moon would.

Why? Because career advisors – and your average influencer – don’t know how to advise on a simple path for getting to the big cheese wheel in the sky. They don’t even know how to advise on how to be happy. And what makes most people truly happy is most things outside the 9-5 grind that was designed for a different time. ‘Whatever the hell you want’ doesn’t necessarily mean starting up a technology empire that runs itself so you can sunbathe all day (but it could), it means whatever is going to make you the most at peace with your existence.

Real wimp outs occur when we run face first into the big old barrier of not knowing how to get what we want; where we have to put effort into learning and strategising something before we can achieve anything even remotely close. Not knowing where to start is the first barrier that will give you a bleeding nose (because face first). And it’s far easier to tell yourself that the wall belongs there than work out the root of the problem you’re trying to solve. Which is why Trump is such a damn asshole.

I’ve realised this recently with my own wimpy thoughts trying to tell me what’s what in an attempt to bring me and my aspirations down. I want to turn my blog into an ever-so-popular website that produces loads of tremendous content which people froth on and demand more of. I want to create a public speaking business that inspires people to be bigger and braver than they ever thought possible. I want people to visit me and my website because they want to be encouraged and entertained; to find the inspiration they need to get out and start living on a nice little edge on the outskirts of their comfort zone.

I essentially want to work for myself so I can be a full-time stay-at-home writer and never brush my hair. But Lord Farquaad knows when all this is going to happen.

I’m actually baffled by the idea of how one single person can create interesting and engaging content, while marketing and publicising themselves, while building and taking care of a community, while still having time for all the human obligations that keep you alive.

It seems impossible but obviously it’s not. There are loads of successful blogs banging around out there. How there are that many people in the world looking for the next best thing in lining their eyes with a pencil, I’ll never understand.

There are also people who have been to the moon before. I don’t know any of them personally but call NASA and see if they’re there.

My goals are just going to take a lot of persistence and neglecting of things like my toenails. But I’m determined to do it and I’ve made that commitment to myself. So here are the five guiding principals I’m using to get me what I want, and you can use them too.

1. Believe that failure’s kinda sexy

The first challenge is in accepting the idea that you might fail. You could go and attack that mother of an incline with all your might only to tumble back down with some kids called Jack and Jill in tow. But here’s the good news about that: it’s 2019 and everyone thinks failing is cool AF. It’s widely embraced as a means of learning, admired even. Because when you get out there and try something, you look like a legend for trying. So when you fail at trying something, you still look like a legend because you tried. If you don’t believe that you look like a legend for failing, then that’s your problem and you need to fix it. I’ve made a conscious choice to believe that risk-taking-failing-types are actually huge sex bombs. So why would my potential failure be any different? Plus, failure is absolutely not inevitable, so ride, Sally, ride.

2. Power up ya patience

I’m one of the most impatient people in all the lands. In fact, part of my appeal in the workplace is my efficiency because I want shit done T-T-T-T-TODAY JUNIOR. But here’s the thing; while a client presentation and Ikea shit can be built in a day, your dreams (and Rome) can’t. Big bastard size dreams take patience. So unless Kim Kardashian is willing to talk about my blog to her 124m Insta followers then I’m going to have to focus on the concept of the slow turtle kicking the ass of the fast hare. The journey to get you what you want – all the pain, sweat and beers – is like so fun anyway. Enjoy it, sweetie.

3. See all doubt as totally unreasonable 

Life’s most noble feats usually come with major pangs of anxiety and severe cases of imposter syndrome. We’re all very fragile at the core and self-doubt influences every single one of us at some point or another. But you have to understand that it’s usually just your brain being a jerk in making you doubt yourself. Think of your brain as a really good fiction writer. Those insecure thoughts of not being good enough is literally just all that dramatic gray matter in your noggin’ coming up with stories for the next soap opera that is your life. Ignore it. Zero thoughts you’ve ever had in your mind have to be real unless you choose to believe them. If you can become aware of your thoughts, you can choose which ones are helpful and which are cray-cray. My asshole of a brain is constantly telling me I’ll never be able to achieve serious money-making status. Thanks for trying to protect me emotionally, brain, but ain’t nobody got time for dat. It tells me lots of dumb dumb stuff about lots of aspects of my life, and it does it often. But you just have to outsmart the bastard.

4. Start now and work it out later

We’ve established that I don’t know what I’m doing. I know exactly what I want but I don’t really know exactly how to get it. I can read all the guidebooks, follow all the success stories and hang out in all the writer forums I want, but this won’t necessarily bring me good fortunes in the follower department. Think about a situation where there’s a chef and a pile of onions. A chef doesn’t just stare at onions, talk to onions, juggle onions, and voila! French onion soup. No. It’s a considered process of action that involves sharp knives, watering eyes and tasty seasoning before they have a boiling cauldron of sellable broth. Everything has to start with something, and if you don’t know what the recipe is, don’t worry, you’ll figure it out once you just start peeling and chopping. Getting on with something leads to other somethings. Just go through the motions without chopping your fingers off and you’ll get that soup.

5. Tell everyone your mega plans

Multiply the radar of opportunity! Soak up all the validation you need if that’s going to get you your success. I’m sure you’re great at holding yourself accountable for da tings you set out to do because you’re nobody’s fool. But it makes all the difference in your drive to succeed if you tell all the important people in your life that YOU IS GONNA BE FAMOUS. Or whatever your big dream is. Not only does telling all your bezzies make you feel like you need to walk the walk at risk of looking like a lame-ass talk the talker, but you’ll be surprised by how much people want to help you. They might give you a contact, or start sharing links to Jim Carrey’s story about how he lived out of his car before he got famous. You’ll find that not only are you hyper aware of opportunities presenting themselves on every corner, but your buds will be subconsciously on the lookout for stuff that can get you on the red carpet too.

Lastly, while digesting and following all this guidance can really help you if you take it seriously, I think it’s also tremendously important that you understand the concept of “creating your own reality” too. We can literally do so many great things with our life if we just understand how life actually works for people with brains. (That’s everyone by the way.) I highly recommend you go read this book while you start to tackle your dreams. Jen Sincero knows what’s up when it comes to designing your life the way you want to live it. And even more importantly, she’s bloody hilarious.

Good luck and drink up, we ride at dawn!


What do you think?

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