I had my cards read by a psychic

Now I will sit patiently and wait for Prince Charming.

I got my cards read at my friend Emma’s house last week (you may remember her from such blog posts as Tantric sex class won’t enhance your sex life). She’s had hers read once before and recognised a lot of truth in the things she was told, so she and her housemate wanted to do it again. They invited me along because… blog.

I’ve always been sceptical of stuff like this because I’m much more of a science gal than a Santa Claus gal. But I think despite how righteous a person is in their scientific beliefs, it’s natural to be curious about a stranger who tells you they can see your future using pieces of cardboard.

The fortuneteller/psychic/bullshit-artist – whatever you want to call her – was a house calling one. She was British, seemed like she was around my age and wore a tracksuit and a ponytail. She was a personal trainer by day, and a £30-charging fortuneteller by night.

We took it in turns spending about an hour alone in the room with her. When it was my turn I walked in, sat down and she asked me to please uncross my legs because it was blocking energy. I certainly didn’t want to block energy. I wanted my readings to be as accurate as possible. So I  spread them as wide as I could without it being gross and improper, just to get maximum energy radiating from my groin.

She asked what area of life I would like to look into, and I asked what my options were. She said people normally start with love life and work life. I like to think pretend I’m a strong independent woman and don’t give two hoots about love, so I said work life first.

She shuffled the cards first to put her energy on them, and then I had a go too, to put my energy on them. Only I dropped them all over the table because they were big boppers and couldn’t handle my casino suave.

She then split the cards into three piles and asked me to choose one. Once chosen, she laid out the first line of cards, which represented my past. And if I tell you every little detail it’s going to be a bloody long blog post, so I’ll try to summarise in bullies.

The cards told her that I have:

  • Always been focussed on work, don’t let other things in life interfere
  • Too critical of self and over analyse
  • Need to give myself more credit

Relevant to anyone? Generalised? Dunno.

The next line of cards represented my work life at present:

  • She saw a lot of paper work (I had been doing more than usual!)
  • Change coming/contracts (I resigned the same week)
  • More money for financial freedom on its way (I’m not in that part of the present yet, but I’ll let you know)

Next line represented the future:

  • Apparently I’m starting a business next year – September some time (no more working for the man!)
  • I will be doing this with a business partner I meet, she saw him in marketing/advertising (I didn’t tell her I worked in this industry)
  • Advice: Don’t take on more than I can handle (yes, mam)

I then decided to give a love life reading a run for its money.

She spread across the first line of cards representing my past, she paused and seemed surprised before asking:

“Have you been engaged?”

“No,” I replied.

“Oh, I can see issues here with commitment. You can’t seem to commit?”

“I suppose so.”

Commit? Or no one has been able to hold my interest. I dunno. Apparently I’ve lost my faith in love (to be fair, I do say that often) and sometimes wonder if I’m better off alone (for like, a nano second – far too needy to be alone forevs).

Present love life, all I could apply this to was my communications with an ex-type guy (and less applicable, some guys off Tinder):

  • I need to be more patient (yes)
  • I need to be less rash with my decisions (Mum tells me that)

And then I don’t know if she gave me more detail in this next section or if I listened more intently because GUILTY, I’m a sensitive single gal pushing 30. 

Future love – guys, meet my future hubby:

  • Next year, around summer, the love of my life will arrive (ta-da!)
  • I will be a bit scared to commit initially
  • Gonna meet him when I least expect, in my pyjamas at the supermarket or something (have never worn my jim jams to the supermarket, but whatever it takes!)
  • He will be strong minded and will keep me on my toes
  • He will treat me well but if I play mind games he will play them back
  • He will have a presence when he walks in a room (dreamy)
  • He will be a jealous type but I will like it (probs because I love drama)


I also got some guidance on travel life.

It got a bit iffy here because I have this big trip planned from November, and she said I wouldn’t be traveling until the new year! And I said, “well bloody hell, man, I’ve already booked my flight outta here.” And she said, “hmm okay, well it looks like you will go, but there will be a delay. The cards are telling me that there will be an interruption… but you will go. Looks like a signing of a contract of some sort.”

I really hope having your fortune told is not like when you make a wish and you’re supposed to keep it a secret otherwise it won’t come true. Because that would be a bummer.

Albeit, whether it’s true or not, the reality is it was fun and exciting. And I really can see why people like to get it done regularly. Ultimately it gives you food for thought and helpful life advice. From my experience, I saw how it could be good for managing my emotions and controlling my thoughts and behaviour a bit more. And I think that’s what my mad, like-minded mate, Emma, gets from it too.

Even if you know/think it’s all a bunch of hogwash, there is plenty of positive stuff to take out of it.  Whether you start to look forward to all the exciting things to come in the future, or you simply start changing your outlook to attract more positivity in your life – it’s all good, dawg.

So I think, I think I’m going to just go right out and say it:

I recommend having your cards read if you ever have the opportunity… and don’t mind parting with 30 quid.


What do you think?

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