5 reasons you don’t want to be me

Or do you???

Every day I don’t write a new blog post, the longer it becomes between blog posts. That’s how time works. And it stresses me the hell out. I’ve been exceptionally busy the last month, and so tonight I’ve sat myself down with a few glasses of wine and some cinnamon churros, and decided to pump out a post. This is what it became.

Work – I almost got sued

So the last post I wrote, I literally had legal action threatened against me by my previous employers. Apparently honest feedback about the cultural black hole they’ve created wasn’t appreciated, but I’m flattered that I’ve gained a few more followers. If I’m honest, I felt bad that I hurt people’s feelings, but to be true to myself, I also feel like I had an important message to share.

Anyway, I have been working in my new job for a month now and luckily they care about people. I’ve slotted in like a piece of bread to a toaster and we laugh. Oh, do we laugh.

Home – I haven’t called anywhere home for 7 months

When I left my job located in the industrial area of Seven Hills, I had to bid farewell to the young pregnant couple I lived with near by. And their suburban backyard too. Since then, I’ve been living out of boxes while housesitting for two different households, and one month later I’m only just moving into my own place to pay my own rent.

Right?! Uncomfortable living out of boxes. I keep losing the most basic of things and wondering if I’ve left my vibrator in compromising places.

Health – I have no time to run but all the time to eat

This nomadic and forgetful lifestyle has seen my health and fitness take a turn for the wine. I’m not eating doughnuts for breakfast or anything, but I’m certainly not alkaline-ing my stomach every morning. I walked up a hill the other day and tore both my calf muscles. So the baby cow parts of my legs aren’t what they used to be.

Also, where are my periods? I’ve felt pre-menstrual for the whole month I’ve been house-hopping. Did the threat of legal action scare them away?

Dating – I have to date strangers

At least the case of the missing periods has nothing to do with pregnancy. I’ve not got jiggy with a sperm-producing human for two years now. Doesn’t seem like such a big deal anymore though. I guess because I’ve been on the move so much. I’ve not had time to lie in bed awake at night missing nasty things.

However, I am now on this dating app called Hinge. Apparently it’s “designed to be deleted”. I like that. Anyway, I went on a date last Sunday and will be going on another, with the same person, this Saturday. The only time I’ve ever gone on a second date with an internet boy was in London last year. But I got burped on and dumped him.

Hobby – I’m running a comedy room

You may or may not know that I totally did 5-minutes stand-up comedy at the Sydney Opera House at the beginning of June (sit tight, the video and blog post is coming). And I had such a whale of a time that I decided to bring the first-time stand up opportunity to Mudgee. So on Friday the 19th of July, I will totally be running my own comedy room at Roth’s Wine Bar. With a mixed bag of brand new and emerging comics. It’s MC’d by your truly.

I’m excited, but I’m assuming majority of people reading this would be all like, NO THANK YOU. And that’s why it made this list.

Last Wednesday I also ran a little workshop called Speaking and Grazing, where I managed to hustle a crowd of people interested in exploring new ways to get out of their comfort zones. Got pretty good feedback, now just need to refine it and make it even better. I want to start running courses that help people become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Watch this space 👀

Any questions? I really like when people leave comments, so keep that in mind please.

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